Written by: Ivy Beaver
Sexual Scripts & Social Cognitive Theories
Research on sexual satisfaction amongst heterosexual men and women has shown a significant gender disparity in sexual pleasure and orgasm in particular. Wade, et al. (2005) found that up to 91 percent of men and only 34 percent of women report consistently having an orgasm during intercourse. A multitude of societal factors have been investigated regarding this phenomenon. Perhaps most notably is the investigation into how traditional sexual scripts mediate different societal factors. The notion that men and women adhere to sexual scripts, first theorized by Simon & Gagnon (1984), has become widespread in contemporary research on gender differences in beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors surrounding heterosexual encounters – as guided by traditional cultural gender norms. Norms for men as enacted through sexual scripts include views that men have high sex drives, are the initiators of sex, push the boundaries throughout intercourse, have a need to be sexually skilled, prefer multiple-sex partners at a time, and participate in casual sex.
Contrary to the male script, the female script includes beliefs that women are desired but do not themselves desire sex, have low sex drives, are resistant to sexual pursuits by men, remain more valuable as a partner with less sexual experience, and prefer monogamy/emotional intimacy with sex (Masters, et al. 2013).
The sexually active nature of the male script and the sexually passive nature of the female script have been shown to contribute to less sexual agency for heterosexual women, which in turn affects both parties’ behavior resulting in women being stripped of equal sexual satisfaction and frequency of orgasm in particular.
A qualitative Salisbury & Fisher (2014) study reviewing male and female perceptions of the female orgasm and its importance found both sexes agreed that the man is physically responsible for giving his female partner an orgasm while the woman is psychologically responsible for the appropriate “mindset” to receive one. This exclusive emphasis on a male’s physical means to make his partner climax bestows a heightened sense of power that is not apparent for women with regard to her own pleasure. While the female sexual script portraying women as sexual gatekeepers directly contradicts any meaningful definitions of sexual agency, as women’s freedom to initiate sex, verbally express desires, physically engage, and refuse sex are overshadowed by male dominance over the sexual encounter. If it is primarily up to men to grant women their orgasm as the traditional sexual script suggests, then given the low frequency of women actually experiencing orgasm during vaginal intercourse, they simply aren’t measuring up to the task. Salisbury & Fisher (2014) found that men who do subscribe to this understanding of their active role in the female orgasm reported feelings of inadequacy as lovers, experienced deflated egos, and emasculation when the female orgasm failed to occur during vaginal intercourse. Furthermore, it was found that the women in the study had been accurate in their perception that a lack of orgasm negatively affects men’s egos (and how the presence of their orgasm enhances it), which affects female focus during sex, as their attentions primarily revolve around protecting their partner’s ego at the expense of their own pleasure. Some women reported faking orgasms at times rather than disclosing a lack thereof, despite significant cognitive dissonance over such behaviors. Preoccupation with the male ego during sex was also preventing women from requesting additional stimulation to their clitoris for fear of making the partner feel insufficient in providing them pleasure. These ways in which women self-sacrifice are not simply for the sake of men’s feelings, and it is not simply because men are ill-equipped to please their partners. Rather, there are a number of reasons a woman might behave this way, which primarily have to do with self-preservation when presented with dilemmas, such as potentially hurting her male partner’s feelings, versus faking an orgasm to spare them.
Drawing on Bandura’s (2002) social cognitive theory, Seabrook et al. (2017) argue that, through mainstream media, individuals enact traditional sexual scripts as they observe models, such as actors, engage in behavior that is either rewarded or punished. Their own findings suggest that viewers of TV shows promoting traditional gender roles and sexual scripts adopt those scripts and consequently model them in their own lives and relationships.
Other examples of women conforming to the traditional sexual script to avoid repercussions include avoidance of initiating sex because such behavior invites women to be demeaned. Women who do deviate from the standard to fulfill their desires tend to conceal their behavior so as not to be called a “whore” or a “slut” (Masters et al. 2013). Women may also engage in unsafe sex practices out of fear of “killing the mood” and displaying distrust of their partner by requesting he wear a condom (Seabrook et al. 2017, Morgan & Lee, 2014).
Blunt-Viti et al. (2018) found some women state that seeking out resources to enhance their own pleasure, even just in the form of education on their personal anatomy, resulted in guilt, shame, and anxiety, so they may avoid doing so at the expense of potentially improving their sexual satisfaction. These findings all suggest that even though women are choosing the most appropriate behaviors presumed to avoid negative… TURN PAGE >>
