Written by: m.wilson
According to a 2023 Zola survey of 4000 couples, the number one place to find a marriageable mate is in college – and the second most common way couples find marriage is via online dating. It is far less likely to find a spouse at a party (including dinner parties), the way one might have during the 20th century, and comes in thirteenth place in the poll, (if you count “Renaissance Fair”).
Finding someone to marry at a party today might work out better for celebrities, for example, who probably socialize in more private and exclusive ways and also at organized events. There have been several such well-publicized matches like Reese Witherspoon and Jim Toth, Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan, Ryan Reynolds and Alanis Morissette (when they were engaged), and others that just dated like Drake and Rihanna, who reportedly met at a birthday party.
One of the reasons it may be less likely to meet one’s future partner at a party in the 21st, according to Vox, is because today’s get-togethers are more casual in nature with guestlists composed of well-acquainted friends who wish to ‘hang out’ together; as oppo of the past when a party was more of an event meant to elevate and promote. It was a time to invite people you knew but also to make introductions to those you’d like to meet, like all sorts of worldly/high society individuals.
“The classic seated, multi-course, formal dinner party, with its china and linens, its cocktails and boeuf bourguignon, is dead. Most young adults today — specifically, millennial, who are in their mid-20s to late 30s by now — don’t have the money, time, or space for the types of elaborate dinner parties their parents and grandparents might have hosted decades ago. Dinner parties were once a way to show off your wealth and social status, but millennial[s] hit by the Great Recession have neither.”
The third most likely way of meeting one’s future mate is ‘through friends,’ a “please set me up” encounter. Fourth is at work, and in a bar is fifth. Dating someone from your school (#2) or a co-worker (#4) seems like it would have the potential to become uncomfortable, especially for a female, if things turned sour. On the other hand, meeting a man at a jovial mixer could be ideal for women who wish to avoid connecting romantically with men where they “eat.” Parties are also an excellent way for females who may not be privy to any work, education, or other social networks, to be exposed to a variety of men.
Mary Anne MacLeod Trump (mother to the 45th president) is said to have been a domestic servant escaping poverty when she emigrated from Tong-Lewis, Scotland, in 1930. Several years later, she attended a party in Queens with her sister and met Fred (Donald Trump’s father), a German man from a successful business family. As it turned out, Mary’s experience as a nanny and domestic skills probably came in handy for her next ultimate vocation as a housewife. She and Fred were married for decades and raised several intelligent and powerful children.
The stats purported in the book “Where Couples Met” generally agree with the Zola poll, showing that school and work are the places most couples meet with the exception of “Other” situations (outside of everyday life), which holds the number one spot. Parties are grouped together with bars, and are said to be where 8 percent of matrimonial hookups occur.
If stories of meeting one’s spouse at a party are familiar in 20th-century biographies, will the stories of ‘how we met’ in 21st-century biographies begin with university classes, online platforms, and ‘at the office’ flirtations? Before 1980, and especially during the Vietnam War era, males vastly outnumbered women on college campuses. But after the war, female enrollment began to surge, and today they outnumber the men by a 60/40 ratio, (which must be favorable for matches). Meeting someone at school has to be preferable to work since most employers discourage in-office dating as it could affect productivity, expose the company to harassment claims, etc., – and just think of Amy Robach and T.J. Holmes. Furthermore, managers can legally prohibit dating in most US states. Yet even so, perhaps workplace pairings have an ‘against all odds’ dynamic, which could make for an interesting retelling.
First Female First Minister in Scotland Nicola Sturgeon:
Why did Nicola Sturgeon resign and who will replace her? https://www.euronews.com/embed/2204620
Scotland: First Minister tenders resignation to King Charles.
Humza Yousaf, the youngest and first person of colour to hold the office of Scotland’s First Minister has formally stepped down. At his time of appointment, he was the first Muslim leader of any Western nation.
https://www.gov.scot/news/humza-yousaf-steps-down-as-first-minister
In the case of online dating, the sky probably isn’t the limit. Will AI-generated matches begin outperforming all other modes of social interaction? Such biographical stories might one day describe meeting his or her spouse on a virtual reality date (a feature for the premium memberships), and will make for more of a sci-fi-type of read.
