Written by: m.wilson
Just about every baby cries at the top of their lungs coming out of the womb – and will continue to cry almost nonstop until they reach a certain stage of development. Babies may cease crying when distracted/appeased or eventually cry themselves to sleep when fatigued, but will probably pick it up again with matching or even greater force the next day. It’s a seemingly inexhaustible reservoir of emotion that is emanating form a very tiny, potato-like being.
Those who have ever lost something or someone precious to them may know what it’s like to cry uncontrollably, like a baby. Many may have also experienced a nervous breakdown or an overwhelming state of exhaustion when pent-up tears finally begin to flow, and they come to terms with how unhappy they’ve been, for example. However, unlike babies, most adults reach a point where the sadness is spent, for the most part, and they become calm again, perhaps feeling resigned to their fate or emotionally emptied. This pattern is part of what Harvard.edu refers to as “executive” brain function, described as:
“the capacity to plan ahead and meet goals, display self-control, follow multiple-step directions even when interrupted, and stay focused despite distractions, among others.”
and helps with relegating crying to specific times, like when a person can be alone or when they can have a few drinks etc. Similarly, though of course, there may be exceptions, such as persons suffering from psychological/physiological disorders, who could possibly rival the frequency and intensity of a baby’s cries. However, it may not be quite the same since an adult person, for instance, might tire from screaming and making so much loud noise, or become physically ill from the effort of it. While a baby’s crying seems to flow and flow continuously.
Babies are also probably angry. There is a socially recognizable difference between a person sobbing over a loss and the aggravation conveyed by someone who’s been irritated – which is often interpreted as a demand, but for what? ‘What is it little baby?’ Whatever it happens to be, it can seem profoundly aggravating for them, to such a degree that they cannot remain still and must shake and flap their arms and legs, gesturing up and down, while distorting and scrunching up their sweet faces.
Many may agree that babies are frustrated, but it is not often discussed in such terms. When baby carries on, it is a parent’s job to remain loving, calm, and collected. And they are not just stressed out by the noise and the mystery behind the crying itself, but also from their association with such a furious and dissatisfied (customer).
Babies cry so much it is possible they may find themselves only temporarily distracted from it by a silly and whimsical fool or maybe a food offering or a cappella performance. But eventually, they will return to their crying – perhaps until they are soothed/comforted and assured once again by some seemingly magical creature murmuring enchantments.
CRYING FOR NO REASON
“…crying uncontrollably is more common in adverse situations like grieving the loss of a loved one or losing work. While grief and loss are common among most people, uncontrollable crying for no reason is not. These episodes differ from feelings of sadness in that the crying won’t stop, the feelings don’t go away, and they are often unexplainable.” – Choosing Therapy
Why is early development so uncomfortable, sad, and infuriating? Aren’t babies happy to be born? Why do they cry tears instead of giggle? Why don’t they emerge from the womb in a Zen state like little Buddhas? Older individuals who reportedly cry all the time ‘for no reason’ include those dealing with Depression, bipolar disorder, Hormones, Anxiety, or neurological disease, according to Very Well Health. Pseudobulbar Affect, for example, is a neurological condition or injury that makes people cry or laugh out loud uncontrollably.
So, (DO NOT DO THIS AT HOME) if a baby took neurotheraputics as many adults do, would it stop crying and feel better about everything? But such a thing is unthinkable, and is rarely a joke anymore, like it may have been in a few of the old screwball comedies from the 80’s – trying to speak with spaced-out children who’d accidentally opened the door on a smokey house guest, or something like that. Drug interventions for kids are limited for fear of permanent damage, learning disabilities, etc., and could pose serious risks to growth and development. Better to assume there are no specialized brain cells available to spare and that they cannot afford any biological vacations from reality. Babies need to be as alert as possible.
A ZeroToThree article stated that we cry due to innate survival instinct:
“It has to do with the way our brains are wired. We feel a sense of urgency when babies cry. It’s almost like a fire alarm goes off in our brains. This is nature’s way of making sure we do our jobs: respond to our babies’ needs and take care of them!”
Despite some instruction from their mothers, cats are born as predatory hunters with acrobatic-like grace. So, it is interesting comparing humans who arrive into the world able to cry, which goes slightly further than deeming it a ‘natural’ birth state. In a purely logical sense, perhaps a baby should be born feeling too tired and sleepy to cry or just feel emotionally flat since they’ve never had any interactions with other people. But perhaps baby is feeling stressed since researchers have stated that there is a physical benefit to crying, which results from bottled-up emotional force and is designed to make the person feel better (Healthline).
“When you cry, your body releases hormones such as endorphin and oxytocin that help reduce pain.”
Is crying simply written into the DNA – providing relief, like for baby’s constipated digestive gasses, or is it more Jung and related to consciousness?
LABOR
When you look up birth experience, most articles discuss labor and mother-child bonding. A study published in BMC Pregnancy and Childbirth revealed that satisfaction with birth is generally predicated by: whether the mother feels supported by the presence of the father, whether the medical technician is competent, if she has personal control over various circumstances, and pain. Does mother’s discomfort during labor remain linked with the child as it exits?
Humans are still very much like the ocean where we emerged millions of years ago. Tears are basically salt water with close to one percent salinity, while ocean water is about four times as salty. Blood is a lot like seawater as well, making our human blood just like an ocean within, due to all of its minerals and components.
‘THEIR EMOTIONS AREN’T CONNECTED TO THEIR BODIES’
So given that babies aren’t born with “executive” function and are unable to suppress emotions, it is still curious as to why the origin emotion is displeasure, rage, and extreme unhappiness – as if constantly screaming, ‘this isn’t right!’ Many mothers and people who care for children often surmise that babies’ emotions ‘aren’t connected to their bodies,’ which in a way is similar to saying that kids are suffering from Pseudobulbar Affect, the
“frequent, involuntary and uncontrollable outbursts of crying or laughing that are exaggerated or not connected to your emotional state.” – Mayo Clinic
It could also be similar to a Depersonalization – Derealization disorder where experiences seem to take place in a semi or full-on dream state; emotions may be sustained but are not fully embodied in a sense. The brain’s memory of dreams usually informs us of the differences between these realities, which is also observable when becoming aware while one is occurring. Absent such awareness, dreams can seem very real but perhaps somehow incomplete, especially when you cannot take control of your body to run, for example, which your brain may find very strange and wake up.
GRUMPY IN THE MORNING
Some people are not agreeable first thing in the morning, and this could be a critical fact to understand without having to know the reason why. The house may remain more peaceful just letting such a person make their coffee, do a few stretches, wash face/comb their hair for maybe 30 minutes before trying to engage with them. Upon waking, some people carry the remnants of sleep and may feel more primal than usual, especially if they rest very deeply. If birth is like rising from a profoundly deep slumber, it seems normal to be frustrated and annoyed about being awakened.
According to Buddhist teachings, life is suffering, and this would certainly make sense, judging by the emotions expressed during birth and infancy. However, there is usually more discussion about how ‘life’ is suffering as opposed to how ‘birth’ is suffering, which sounds more like problems with aging and life experiences. Thinking about life itself – (or incarnation) – in birth as suffering strikes a different chord. It’s not only what we find in the world but the fact of being born – for whatever reason.
“If there weren’t suffering, we wouldn’t have to struggle to find anything. We could sit at our ease, lie down at our ease, and walk at our ease. But the fact is that we suffer as soon as we’re born. There’s nobody who survives birth and then lies there happy and peaceful as soon as they come out. They struggle. They cry. This is clear to see.” – DhammaTalks.org
